Before Nicole and I met, I had a history of failed relationships – not only before I was a Christian, but after I came to Christ as well. I didn’t always have a biblical model for a real relationship so I’m not too surprised by my less than stellar success rate. After my last relationship, I had reached my breaking point.

As guys, we usually ask for the wrong things when it comes to women. Sadly, when I did, God pretty much always provided only to show me how wrong I was. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s had a ridiculous list of traits that our ideal person should have. Finally, I did what I should have done from the beginning: I gave it to God. I changed my list almost entirely and simplified it as much as possible. I asked him for someone who would love Him more than me, who would love Him first and who had a real relationship with Him. I asked for somebody who I would be attracted to, and who I had real chemistry with (spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical) and who had a great sense of humor. Beyond that, I asked God to take the ball and run with it because he knows what I need far more than I do and I was tired of being wrong. I prayed to God every day about this, but more than that, I thanked him for my wife long before I met her and I believed that he had answered my prayers long before I had seen the evidence of it.

My theory was that the Bible has plenty of stories about God choosing people’s wives for them, so why not me? The Bible says that God does this, so why would I not trust this choice to the ultimate matchmaker Who knows all of us more intimately than we know ourselves? This all led me to online dating. I set my search wide and far because I believed that God was not geographically limited. If God is leading it then it doesn’t matter if somebody is halfway across the world or not, He will make it happen. I met a bunch of people online but there was no real connection to any of them. Most seemed to be Christians in name only. I searched everywhere and was on a couple of different dating sites, one of which turned out to be almost a total scam. Strangely, this is where I met Nicole. God is funny like that.

By this time I had met so many people that I took everyone with a gigantic grain of salt after so many disappointments. I was pretty neutrally minded by the time Nicole messaged me. She was pretty, sure, but I was also on the hunt for character and someone who had a relationship with God. We started emailing back and forth and we got along pretty well, and soon after we set up our first Skype date. 

(I mainly wanted to Skype because I also wanted to make sure that she wasn’t some freaky fat guy trying to catfish me.) 

Both of us had a bunch of things we used back then to try and protect ourselves from anybody we met, but when it came to Nicole and I, God kicked them aside like a meathead stomping out a toddler’s sand castle on the beach. Our best laid plans are nothing once God gets involved.

Our conversation on that Skype date was out of control. She was prettier than her pictures, and she seemed to really have a relationship with God as well as a sense of humor. (Also, as it turns out, she was not a fat guy. Bonus points for that.) One amazing conversation turned into two, and two into who knows how many…and pretty soon we were talking about meeting in person. At this point I was still talking to other girls as well, though only two or three as the rest had made it clear that God was not their top priority.

Sometime about a month or two after Nicole and I started talking, I was actually on my way to Chattanooga to meet one of those other girls in person. On the way there I decided to call Nicole. She and I had another explosively awesome conversation which ended with me praying hardcore. I said, “God, it’s obvious by that conversation that I’m not supposed to be with the girl I’m headed out to meet. You know that I’m not one to ask for a sign, but if it’s Nicole, you’re gonna have to show me because I’m stuuuuupid…if You don’t, I’m going to miss it, and You can’t be subtle either! It needs to be a big sign, like with bright white letters that I can’t miss. Lord, which way do you want me to walk…” and just as I said that, I glanced left, and there it was. A literal street sign with her last name on it…. in bright white letters. 

“Whaaaaat?!?!”

My mind was blown.

About two weeks later, I was at work and Nicole and I had just finished another wild conversation that once again ended in me praying to God. I asked Him for another sign just to be sure … I told Him that I didn’t want to ask for another, but I needed to know. There were other people with her same last name and I needed to be sure. And just as I said, “Show me which way to walk,” I opened the back door of my truck and my eyes locked onto a barcode on this box. In those random SKU numbers and letters under the barcode was Nicole’s first name and last initial, followed by a few numbers and other letters. (I took a picture for proof.)

I think my brain melted. From that point I knew that I was supposed to fully pursue Nicole, and before we even met for the first time in person, I knew I was going to marry her.

After three months, I pulled my car into her neighborhood and was about to pick her up for our first date. She came outside to meet me and I was even more attracted to her in person. I was excited, and then shocked as she brought me into her house and her whole family was standing there to meet me. I was not expecting that, and after an 8 hour drive I was nowhere near prepared for it. To her it was no big deal, but to me, it was a little overwhelming. But her family was more than nice, and as it turns out, we all had a lot in common.

That first date turned into 8-hour roadtrips back and forth for a little over a year, and the rest is history. Dealing with a long distance relationship can be difficult at times, but through Christ all things are possible – especially when He picks the one you go through it with.