This year has been a blur. It feels like the things that come to mind easiest are the stressful times, the heartbreaking times, the helpless times, the loss, the frustrations, the difficulties, the worries…and there were plenty of them. After the seemingly endless stress this year, I have been desperate for a break to be honest, and so the new year has carried mixed emotions for me. On one hand I’ve been hopeful, but most of the time I almost would rather not think about it because it seems like it’s a whole new year of new troubles to overwhelm my soul. My heart breaks a little bit to think about “leaving” those we’ve lost in 2021…the idea that my mom’s not coming with us into 2022 brings the feeling of loss right back a little bit. There’s a tendency to have pessimistic feelings about the new year…until I sit down and really think about all the ways God has blessed us this year. And those blessings by FAR exceed all the negative things that have happened.

Tonight we sat on our front porch swing with our Christmas tree lit through the window, watching the neighbors’ fireworks show across the street. It started to rain lightly and Jocelyn laid her head on my shoulder (because she was sleepy after a long day of playing, eating, and wreaking havoc at a nice Indian restaurant)…Christian brought me some hot tea, and I sat there soaking in how perfect that moment was. Totally forgot all the bad stuff for just one moment, and I was reminded that blessings may not always be as loud and dramatic as the trials, but they’re far more numerous. Every day is full of them, we usually just aren’t paying attention because the stressful stuff is more prominent.

Every day this year, we all made it home safe. Sometimes I just stop and think about how unlikely that seems in the world we live in today. After all the things that could have destroyed us this year, here we stand…and there’s only one reason.

Every day this year the Good Lord has supplied my every breath, my every heartbeat, my every positive thought…He has sustained me through everything I thought would wreck me, from losing my mom on top of trying to keep my full-time job on top of new diagnoses and sickness and learning how to be a toddler-mom (which is a whole new ballgame) on top of juggling daycare troubles and all the stress in between, here I am— safe in my home with my family, staring down a brand new year and saying goodbye to 2021.

I’m finding that when I remember all the things God has done for us this year, and every year, the apprehension of the new year fades and is replaced by peace and trust in Jesus who has held me up every day of my life so far— and as long as He is on the throne (which will never change), I can be assured He will continue to do so.

I don’t know what 2022 holds, but I know who holds me in 2022. ⚓️

“We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8,9

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

Hebrews 6:19

“”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.””

Jeremiah 29:11